Throughout the years, I’ve come to realize there are many trials and tribulations that come with attending IU. I’d like to dedicate this column to the organizations that help students graduate college in one piece.
First off, I’d like to give a big round of applause to Starbucks. Your baristas have been with us from day one when we needed a pick-me-up after raging too hard during Welcome Week. Today is last call, finals are over and you know by now what our usual order is. So let’s take a shot on behalf of the good ol’ ’bucks. A shot of espresso of course. And hell, let’s make it a double.
Next I’d like to give an honorable mention to the Indiana Memorial Union. The Biddle Hotel is always there when our parents need a room to stay in while they visit. Those comfy green leather couches are always there when we get sexiled by our roommate and need a place to crash. Aside from glorious sleeping accommodations, you’ve also given us a playground to roam. The many escalators, corridors and food options have us not wanting to leave.
Graduating wouldn’t have been made possible without the infamous Instagram. Thank you for making these four years appear way more fun than they actually were. You brightened the shit out of our lives, and we got to look cooler in the process. Also, thanks for letting us know when it was snowing outside. We never would have known otherwise. A special shout out to X-Pro II and Lo-Fi. You guys were our favorite.
To the most loving pal, the one who’s watched us go through countless tubs of ice cream, popcorn bags and the occasional tissue —Netflix, you are the original gangster. We love you for your non-existent commercials and wide array of seasons of television that make us happy, regardless of our mood. Thanks for letting us waste a whole lot of time with you; it’s been a real pleasure. No regrets.
Aside from our trusty professors we know and love so well, a knight in shining armor should also be recognized. Google, you are the unsung hero of our college careers. Without you, we’d be knee-deep in encyclopedia pages. But let’s be honest — who even reads books anymore? Facts are facts, and Google you sure have a lot of them.
The next sponsor calls for a standing ovation. Freshman year we wondered why everyone was in Kappa Omicron Kappa and why they “drank like an American today.” Now we never even have to pay cover because we’re best friends with the bouncer. On our 21st birthdays we were initiated and have never since regretted our decision to rush Kilroy’s on Kirkwood.
Last up are Mom and Dad and any other legal guardians. You guys are our number one supporters. We love you and your home-cooked meals. Thanks for watching us grow into somewhat responsible young adults. We hope we made you proud.
This article was originally published as a column for the Indiana Daily Student on 7 May 2015.