REVIEW: Trump’s first week

Grade: C-

In an underwhelming opening to season 45 of “The United States Presidency,” the Trump administration is off to a rocky start. Although it’s tough to review an entire season based on episode 4501, it’s clear that this first week will set a precedent for all the rest.

The new season has already covered a number of the pressing questions we had during last week’s season finale, “Goodbye, Obama.”

Because of the blatant annihilation of the old cast, this fresh group of actors seems especially shell-shocked by their new digs. Even President Trump is overwhelmed by the expansiveness of the White House. It’s no Trump Tower, but the kitchen is stocked with his favorite variety of fried tubers — Lay’s potato chips.

The entire ordeal was similar to seeing new contestants roam ABC’s “The Bachelor” mansion before the first rose ceremony. “These are the most beautiful phones I’ve ever used in my life,” Trump said in an interview Tuesday with the New York Times.

Like any inexperienced homeowner, Trump is all about out with the old and in with the new. He’s already tossed Trans-Pacific Partnership and the Affordable Care Act in the dumpster, both moves that we saw coming in his grandiose campaign teaser trailer. This decision leaves millions of Americans waiting to see if Trump’s non-existent health care plan will become a medical miracle.

Additionally, Trump fails to recognize that a few new pipeline jobs have nothing on climate change. It’s here, it’s real, and Trump’s delusional mind thinks he can get out scot-free in four years. National Park Service employees are going rogue on Twitter by retaliating against his decision to resume Dakota Access Pipeline negotiations.

Then there’s the wall. It seems as though Trump, ratcheting up the vetting process to secure our borders, has no problems vetting inside our non-existent walls as well — through the press.

Tradition is what gets our foot in the door — the tradition that the government and the press will maintain a cordial relationship, regardless of petty disputes about inauguration attendance and golden showers. In this first episode, the press got the front door of the White House slammed in its face by none other than Trump. We’re all feeling the whiplash.

When a man who verbally attacks reporters and tweets viciously about news networks with whom he doesn’t see eye-to-eye becomes a global leader, a new standard is created. The ball is in Trump’s court, and he is more than willing not to serve it to news organizations that step on his toes. It’s easy to exclude them from press briefings.

While living in such a big house might alleviate Trump’s Rapunzel-esque cabin fever, he has big shoes to fill. “There’s something very special when you know Abraham Lincoln slept there … There’s a lot of history,” Trump said.

For a man who respects history, he’s certainly going about it in an interesting way. In a room surrounded by greying white men he chose to make a paramount decision about women’s bodies by reinstating the Mexico City Policy. Although it won’t stop abortion, it will make it far less safe.

Although this review should come as no surprise from an audience perspective, it will certainly shock Trump to the core, who cares more about his ratings than his perfectly coiffed hair.

All in all this first episode has gotten mixed reviews.

For supporters this season is off to a delightful start minus a couple of hiccups about tax returns and grumbles about the ghastly meaning behind those pink knitted hats. For those donning the hats, this week was stolen straight from the playbook of “Night of the Living Dead.”

This article was originally published as a column for the Indiana Daily Student on 26 January 2017.


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